that one song that starts playing and you recognize it immediately and you just
- What girls say: I'm fine
- What girls mean: I'm too embarrassed to ask for water from your mom because this is the first time I've been over and she's asked me like 500 times if I wanted any and I've been saying no but I'm dying of thirst
HA so these guys in the library were joking around and one is like “So when’s our date?” and they started discussing when and where and what. Then they hugged really hard and slowly pulled apart and just kind of stopped a second and the other was like “… you really gonna take me on a date?” and the first guy is like, “Uh… yeah, man I’ll take you on a date.” AND THE SECOND GUY SEEMED SO EXCITED GUYS I THINK I JUST WITNESSED THE BEGINNING OF SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL
how many haters does it take to change a lightbulb? none. they fear change, even if it can make the world a brighter place.
That was so deep I shit myself

Supposedly there is a new study that says when a woman sits on a guy’s hips when he is doing a chest press, his testosterone rises up to about 97.9% which promotes strength and muscle growth.
Probably not the only thing that rises up to about 97.9%
- my mom: you do realize that one day you will have to pay for all your own things
- me: yes but today is not that day
why did the chicken cross the road
to get the fuck away from your incoming pun
when you hear someone talking about an obsession of yours






